Jokes

Found these jokes somewhere on the net today. Enjoy!
-Malaysia-
National Bird: The Crane. Seen perched on top of most tall buildings in KL.
National Car: Proton.
National Breakfast(On the way to work): Nasi Lemak. Who cooks and eats nasi lemak at home for breakfast?
National Breakfast(At home): Maggi Mee. Also the national lunch and dinner if you're an outstation student, bachelor, neglected husband, lazy fella, etc.
National Excuse for Hair Loss: Maggi Mee.
National Excuse for Being Late: Traffic jam.
National Cure for Headaches: Panadol the "cure all" for Malaysians. If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm.
National Cure for Dizziness: Minyak Angin Cap Kapak.
National Cause of Dizziness(For Yuppies): Happy Hour.
National Instant Cure for Dizziness(For Yuppies): The sight of police road block.

-Malaysian Pronounciation-
Have you ever wonder how Malaysians pronounce certain names, for example:
John Travolta - John Telah Botak
Peter Stuyvesant - Peter Style Bosan
Arnold Schwarzenneger - Arnold Susah Nak Eja

-Notice-
Notice: Please Notice! You may have noticed the increased amount of notices for you to notice. And we have noticed that some of our notices have not been noticed. This is very noticable. It has been noticed that the responses to the notices have been noticeably unnoticable. Therefore, this notice is to remind you to notice the notices and to respond to the notices because we do not want the notices to go unnoticed.
From the Noticing Committee for Noticing Notices

-Lesson No.1-
A bird got frozen while flying during the winter and fell to the ground. It thought it was gonna die. But, a cow walked pass and pooped on the frozen bird. The warmth from the cow poop melted the ice on the bird. The bird was happy because it was alive and chirped happily(still in the poop). A hunter happened to walk by and heard the bird, caught and took it home and roasted it for his dinner.
The moral of this story:
1. One who lands you in deep shit is not necessarily a bad person/thing.
2. One who is in deep shit is not necessarily in trouble.
3. One who is in deep shit does not necessarily need to cry out for help/in joy.