Obedience.

So not easy to be obedient to God.
Choices, choices..
In the end, I chose God.
Breaks my heart to do so though.
And here I thought I finally found it, after all the past experiences..
With all my heart I want to go forward, but I guess it's against God's will?
And this time it's myself that chose to break my own heart, to follow God.
To distance myself from these feelings and .. Sigh.

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I can only hope and pray that in the future, God will make a way..
To do things that I can't even imagine.
For He knows best.

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This sacrifice is made, through obedience, to You.

After so many heartaches, it still hurts as much as it did the first time.

Wait.

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

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An old song.

Look. Live. Learn. Love.

I want to look to Jesus.
I want to live a life full of God.
I want to learn more and more about You.
I want to love, just like how You love me.

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." - John 15: 13

...

Could you help me to do that, God, pretty please?

"In patience I shall wait, upon You, and you."

Two Zero One Zero.

Year 2010.
Resolution?

To not have any resolutions.

Don't see the point of having resolutions. 'Cos it's always better to improve and make one or few targets every day instead of making one long list of stuff you'll probably break and not do for the rest of the year.

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Learned something today, or rather, for the past year.

That I'm not good enough.
I try, but in vain.
Time, energy, effort, tears, prayers.
Waste of effort, I'll say.

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Throughout the previous year:

The backup guy.
Unappreciated.

People come find me only when shit happens :)
Or when they need something done.

Despite everything I do, it still seems like I'm a disgrace to be mentioned.
Compared to people to who do nothing :)

People keep saying I don't understand.
Well, don't tell me anything if you think I won't understand.
Don't tell me anything if you think I can't help in any way.
It's even better for me, 'cos that leaves me with more free brain space to deal with my own problems, a very big thank you.
And don't say you understand when you still do things that a person that doesn't understand does, because that's the same as not understanding at all.

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On the spiritual side,
I wouldn't say anything about first half of the year.
It's easy to serve and do things for God when you're all fired up for God after a church camp.
To be able to serve God, the same way, when you're feeling dry and low, is the real test.
The second half of the year's been a time of testing, I'll say.
It wasn't a smooth road all the way. There were bumps and potholes.
However, God has been a good teacher.
All the things I've went through taught me many valuable lessons :)
And of course, for the many small and seemingly insignificant blessings throughout the year that I've ignored or missed out on, thank you God :)

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2010.

All I can do is I pray that it would a good year.
Don't attempt to be 'good enough'.
Never expect anything from other people or hope in another person, 'cos I'll have my hopes dashed every time I do so.

Mmmmmm, 2010 :)

Reason for the Season

Funny how Christmas revolves all around Santa, presents, going clubbing, throwing parties all night long, having fun with people, etc nowadays. Of course, it's a time to rejoice and be merry, but they're being merry for different kinds of reasons, some treat it like a day off from work to relax, some treat it as an excuse to go clubbing(for those that need an excuse to), etc.

Wonder why it's called Christmas and not Santamas, pubclubbingboozemas, funmas or whatevermas(I'll stop here, I know it's getting lame)?

'Cos Christmas is to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ. The guy who saved us by dying for us.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." - John 3:16

Sounds cheesy?

Well, can you find anyone right now that will give up his/her life to die slowly and painfully just for your sake so that you will not perish? And oh yeah, add in the fact that before that person died for you, you hated him/her and were actually doing things that were hurting his/her heart very much.

The greatest present anyone for Christmas isn't that car they've been wanting for years. Neither is that shirt or dress that they had their eyes on for a long time.
The greatest present anyone can have for Christmas has already been given to all of us, 2000 years ago. And that's Jesus Christ. The guy who, out of love, died for you and me, so that we may live.

And talking about love, the world has a funny way of twisting it.
Real love is NOT
- lust
- ONLY romance(relationships need romance, but romance isn't love)
- infatuation
- sex
- conditional(there's no 'if')
- expectant

Out of love, we were given a gift. A gift of salvation.
And since everybody likes gifts..

Will you accept His gift today?

Random.

Got this from a book.

"When you lose something precious, it is not lost. You're just merely passing it on to others."

I guess I've passed on many things to others, huh?

Sigh.