I wonder.

"I really enjoy spending time with you, even if we're just going to be sitting around and talking about nothing. There are a million things I love about you, like your nose or the way you smile, the way you look me in the eye, too. And I just get the greatest feeling when I make you laugh. I feel as if my company makes you happy, and that's what I wish for you. For you to be happy. And when I see you laugh at my clumsy ways, it just makes me want to spend the rest of my life with you so I can see a smile on your face.You've given me reasons to smile, and good times to laugh about, but most of all you've given me memories I could never forget. I just want to hold your hand, and maybe listen to stories about your childhood, or what you think of at the end of the day when you're all alone in bed. I am just happy near you."

It would never be the same again.

“I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we’re great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can’t take this anymore. I can’t stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can’t, I can’t look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can’t talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are."

(idareyoutoclickthis.tumblr.com)

Oh why do I always appear at the wrong time? Each and every time.
I wonder.

Sigh.

Feeling.. I don't even know what I'm feeling anymore.

This time, I'm really, really, just gonna leave the pieces there.
No more picking them up.

Breakdown.

Oh God it hurts. It hurts. So. So. Much.

It hurts when I'm with you. It hurts when I'm not with you.
Things that you do that hurt me.
It hurts so much more just because I can't say it out.
I have to just swallow it and move on.
Yet it is not your fault, as you do not know because I couldn't tell.
And I always had to act like everything is fine.
I wish I could tell, so you could understand my actions.
But I can't. I just, can't. It's not hard to tell you.
But that's the reason why it's so hard keeping it from you.
From what other people see, I shouldn't be hurt by the things you do, considering my position.
But nobody knows what is really going on inside.
The things I wish I could tell you.
From an outsider's view, I would just look like a fool, getting upset and emo suddenly, over nothing.
The secrets inside of me, feels like being stuffed into a cage that doesn't even fit. It's suffocating. Yearning for them to come out, with all my heart.
And even if it manages to come out, it cannot find it's rightful owner.
I'm tired of fighting with myself. There will be no winner, only endless fighting and struggling.
The sorrow that I feel, it's getting too much. It keeps on increasing.
It's affecting my life. Everything in my life.
I don't want to feel sad when I go to bed every night.
I don't want to cry when I'm alone, at night, on my bed, anymore. I'm not afraid to admit that I do, I do, because I love you.
I want to keep a distance from you because I know I might get hurt, but I can't, because I've fallen for you.
It's been broken time and time again. Into so many pieces.
Maybe I shouldn't pick up the pieces and hand it to another person anymore.
Maybe I should just leave the pieces there, and move on, with nothing anymore in my hands.
Then I wouldn't have anything anymore to give.
I do not mind posting this, because I don't wanna keep it all inside anymore.
I don't care what others will say or think about this anymore.
I don't want to hide my feelings anymore.

- 2 Corinthians 6:14 -
Sigh.

God. It really, really hurts.

Wrong.

I always happen to end up appearing at the wrong time. Sigh.

The pain is still there, with or without you.

He..

He loves me.
He heals me, on the inside and outside.
He protects me.
He watches over me.
He saved me.
He died for me.
He guides and helps me in my everyday life, in everything I do.
He helps me in my studies.
He gives me comfort when I'm down.
He gives me peace and surpasses all understanding.
He gives me wisdom to overcome all the problems I encounter.
He teaches me the right things to do.
He's with me wherever I go.
He provides for all my needs.
He is my strength and courage.
He gives me grace sufficient for every day.
He blesses me so much, that if I had one cent for every blessing I received, I would be a billionaire by now.
He has given me eternal life through the death and resurrection of Jesus.
..

-----------------------------------------------------------

And the list goes on..

Thanks to Him, everything's good :)

God can do all these things for you too.
He's just waiting at your door, waiting for you to open the door for him to enter in.

So if you're asking me, why am I sharing Jesus to you? Why don't you just keep all of it for yourself?
The answer is simple, even you know it.

Good things must be shared!

So, will you make your choice today? :)